Today my very dear friend was so kind to take my big kids to the beach for a few hours. I stayed home relaxing with the little ones and went to the grocery store, a normal mommy day .... no major worries. But then the phone call came .... Parker was ok but he had been pulled out in a rip tide and got pulled into the rocks. His legs are pretty cut up ... some soreness in his chest ... and a bit skaken but he was ok. I think I respond like most moms in an emergency ... I handle the original trama with ease but after .... oh, yah, the tears flow! After the phone call, I layed the little ones down and had a good cry .... how different that phone call could have been. While I was grocery shopping, not really even thinking about Parker, he had faced a great trial.
As a mom, I know that I am not the only one that feels like I carry the burden of the world for my children. I must protect them .... should I have sent him ..... how do I prepare them for the world but not expose them to too much? Today was a beautiful reminder that I am one very tiny piece of the safety of my children. While I grocery shopped, the Ultimate Protector, the One who loves Parker more than I can ever imagine held him for me. I was clueless to what was going on but God knew ... He knew and His plan for today was to keep Parker safe. I liked His plan this time. I know that I may not always like His plan in the future but Parker is His, just like my other children, and He is good and faithful and I trust that He will walk with us and even carry us when needed. For today ... He knew my Parker needed Him and He was there even when I wasn't.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Taking What I Need
You know whats even better than having the flu? ... having the flu pregnant! ... even better ... all your family having it at the same time ... oh, joy! Ya, a tough few days in the DeWitt home last week. So, the good thing with everyone having it at the same time is that its over, no dragging this thing out! The bad thing ...mama never got to rest! Everyone else slept and rested but mama did what mamas do and just kept things going .... cleaning up barf, doing laundry, rocking babies, cleaning up barf ... you know how it goes!
But ... here lies the problem, life now is ready to move on because everyone (except mama) is rested and feels better. So, what is a mama to do ... move on with the family, of course .... until one day (yesterday in particular) this mama hit a wall. Oh how pretty it was ... a little yelling, a little crying and finally leaving to go to my parents empty apartment to sleep. Now it would have been nice if my dear husband could have seen the warning signs and sent me away a little earlier but I was apparently playing the part just fine. It could have been a prettier scene for me to get some rest but it wasn't. The important thing .. I saw my limits (behind me) and said thats enough ... this mama is taking what she needs and I went and slept for three hours. I probably would have slept longer but I got hungry!
So, my advice to you ... listen to your needs ... don't wait for someone else to meet them! Communicate before you melt down and take care of yourself too!
By the way ... life's looking brighter today ... amazing what good sleep can do for ya!
But ... here lies the problem, life now is ready to move on because everyone (except mama) is rested and feels better. So, what is a mama to do ... move on with the family, of course .... until one day (yesterday in particular) this mama hit a wall. Oh how pretty it was ... a little yelling, a little crying and finally leaving to go to my parents empty apartment to sleep. Now it would have been nice if my dear husband could have seen the warning signs and sent me away a little earlier but I was apparently playing the part just fine. It could have been a prettier scene for me to get some rest but it wasn't. The important thing .. I saw my limits (behind me) and said thats enough ... this mama is taking what she needs and I went and slept for three hours. I probably would have slept longer but I got hungry!
So, my advice to you ... listen to your needs ... don't wait for someone else to meet them! Communicate before you melt down and take care of yourself too!
By the way ... life's looking brighter today ... amazing what good sleep can do for ya!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
To Be His Mom
It is a great joy and a great responsibility to mother a boy! When I first had Parker, someone told me that I held the special privilege to be his first crush ... and I completely soaked in that joy! Now ten years later .... our relationship is changing, still beautiful but changing. I still get to experience that special love a mom and her son share ... I still get to cuddle in the morning ... I still get to answer his million questions ... I'm still the one he wants to love away his injuries and comfort him when he's sick ... but I see some things changing too.
As I shared before .... my boy is becoming a pre-man (don't tell him I said that) So, what does that mean for our relationship. I've noticed him and I butting heads more often ... I've noticed him trying his will more often with me than his dad ... I've noticed him arguing just for the sake of arguing with me. Chris and I have been praying and talking a LOT on how to embrace but guide Parker through this change. I've tried to look at Parker and my relationship in regards to the relationship he will one day have with his wife. How is my son preparing to be a husband through our relationship? I am his first crush which also means I am his first opportunity to learn to relate to, to respect and to lead a woman. God is very clear that He created woman to be a helper to her husband. Now, of course, Parker is not ready for the responsibility of having "a helper" since God has much more to say for the responsibility of a man to a woman ... but what it does mean is that Parker's innate response is not to submit to me, a woman, but try his own way... How many did I loose in that statement ... hang with me here ... God did call men to protect, to lead, to provide, to love like Christ loved the church. So, in my daily living with my pre-man ... my position with Parker is changing. He needs to follow the rules in the home because by doing so, He is helping to make peace and order for his mom and siblings. He needs to help with what I ask because that shows me love. He needs to be respectful to me. He needs to love me with his actions .... but he does not need to submit to me. He needs opportunity to lead, he needs opportunity to try out his independence, he needs a little space to plant his roots. There is a wonderful way to help him into the position of being a strong Christian man that will lead and provide for his family ... that will love his wife like Christ loved the church. I have the huge responsibility to either help him into that role and preserve our relationship or I can hinder him in his growth and forever damage our relationship and the one he will one day have with his wife.
Some practical ways we are making this work in our home ...
Accountability ~ Although I make the daily schedule, school schedule and chore list, Parker is responsible to get his things done on his own. Chris checks in by calling at lunch and following up after work to be sure Parker is on track. Consequences for not accomplishing responsibilities have been set between Chris and Parker. Chris has also set up a system for me to handle negative attitudes with out taking too much effort from me (remember #5 on the way). If I feel like Parker is being disrespectful or any other negative attitude, he gets an "x" on the board, 5 "x's" and he goes to his room until his dad and him can talk ... very rarely to we get more than 3 "x's" now with this system, Parker is now catching himself before I can respond
"Man Time" ~ Chris and Parker take monthly "man trips" to strengthen their relationship, to discuss how things are going at home and to keep communication open for the "big stuff"
"Mom Dates" ~ Parker and I have regular dates - just fun, no corrections, a mom and her son hanging out, an opportunity for Parker to be "the man"
Share your thoughts .... any ideas to share of what you are doing to prepare your "pre-man"? Anything I said not sitting right with you?
As I shared before .... my boy is becoming a pre-man (don't tell him I said that) So, what does that mean for our relationship. I've noticed him and I butting heads more often ... I've noticed him trying his will more often with me than his dad ... I've noticed him arguing just for the sake of arguing with me. Chris and I have been praying and talking a LOT on how to embrace but guide Parker through this change. I've tried to look at Parker and my relationship in regards to the relationship he will one day have with his wife. How is my son preparing to be a husband through our relationship? I am his first crush which also means I am his first opportunity to learn to relate to, to respect and to lead a woman. God is very clear that He created woman to be a helper to her husband. Now, of course, Parker is not ready for the responsibility of having "a helper" since God has much more to say for the responsibility of a man to a woman ... but what it does mean is that Parker's innate response is not to submit to me, a woman, but try his own way... How many did I loose in that statement ... hang with me here ... God did call men to protect, to lead, to provide, to love like Christ loved the church. So, in my daily living with my pre-man ... my position with Parker is changing. He needs to follow the rules in the home because by doing so, He is helping to make peace and order for his mom and siblings. He needs to help with what I ask because that shows me love. He needs to be respectful to me. He needs to love me with his actions .... but he does not need to submit to me. He needs opportunity to lead, he needs opportunity to try out his independence, he needs a little space to plant his roots. There is a wonderful way to help him into the position of being a strong Christian man that will lead and provide for his family ... that will love his wife like Christ loved the church. I have the huge responsibility to either help him into that role and preserve our relationship or I can hinder him in his growth and forever damage our relationship and the one he will one day have with his wife.
Some practical ways we are making this work in our home ...
Accountability ~ Although I make the daily schedule, school schedule and chore list, Parker is responsible to get his things done on his own. Chris checks in by calling at lunch and following up after work to be sure Parker is on track. Consequences for not accomplishing responsibilities have been set between Chris and Parker. Chris has also set up a system for me to handle negative attitudes with out taking too much effort from me (remember #5 on the way). If I feel like Parker is being disrespectful or any other negative attitude, he gets an "x" on the board, 5 "x's" and he goes to his room until his dad and him can talk ... very rarely to we get more than 3 "x's" now with this system, Parker is now catching himself before I can respond
"Man Time" ~ Chris and Parker take monthly "man trips" to strengthen their relationship, to discuss how things are going at home and to keep communication open for the "big stuff"
"Mom Dates" ~ Parker and I have regular dates - just fun, no corrections, a mom and her son hanging out, an opportunity for Parker to be "the man"
Share your thoughts .... any ideas to share of what you are doing to prepare your "pre-man"? Anything I said not sitting right with you?
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